it's funny how life works. in the midst of doing what is seemingly a routine activity, events, people, experiences can just drop in to your life seemingly from nowhere; and in a flash can make you see life in a different way then you had previously. something like that is happening for me right now, and as is often the case, it feels both wonderful and terrifying at the same time.
you begin to learn quite a bit about yourself in these times -- what you value, what you are both secure and insecure about, what you hope for, what you fear, where you are broken, and where you have healed. and when you are a perfectionist like me, you spend alot of time wanting to be sure you do this right -- even though you're also aware that you're not at all sure what "right" even looks like.
a new friend (and i consider him such even though we have not met face to face) encouraged me to not overthink this. i agreed. i'm trying to heed this advice, but, unfortunately, overthinking comes to me as naturally as breathing. i went to bed last night in a state of bliss. i awoke in a state of questioning what is going to happen. hopefully, it will even out. i'll let you know if it does and more of what "it" is in the future.
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