i am a broken person. each time i experience these difficult periods in life, i see how deep that brokenness goes, and because i've had quite a few of such periods, particularly in the last several years, i can also see that the rate of further damage to my psyche is outpacing the attempts made to repair it.
every day i wonder how long i will be able to continue in a life that is filled with this level of emotional pain, and beyond that, i question that even if i'm able to emerge from this particular life challenge, will the change just be another brief reprieve until an even more hurtful period begins, breaking me down even further.
i do not feel capable enough to live through what feels like a life that does not make sense and certainly is not what i hoped it would be. at this point, it does not feel as if i ever will.
