"the definition of lonely" - award winning gay drama by leon lopez

when it gets dark

the path of my life's journey seems to go into and out of spaces of darkness. as i've gotten older the dark patches have seemed to have gotten more opaque and the length of time in the darkness has gotten longer. conversely, the light spaces have gotten less and less bright and my times along these stretches have seemed briefer and briefer.

i walk in a dark space on the path now. as i move what i hope to be forward, i'm reminded of other times in my journey that have been like this, and how i've wondered then, as i do now, if this is the dark point that will finally break me. i wonder if i won't make it out of the darkness to the light. i wonder if, after so much struggle and pain, i will become convinced that the only way to make it to a light is to step off of the path of life.

i keep moving forward because i think maybe, just maybe coming out of the dark is only a few steps ahead. still, i find myself starting to wonder if the light spaces keep getting dimmer and the dark spaces keep getting more so, then how long will it be before i can't distinguish one from the other?

i walk in the dark. i do not believe my life has been good. i question whether it can ever be otherwise given what i have experienced thus far. i keep walking .... but for how long?