stars shine like silver bells

the outside temperature has taken a nosedive over the past couple of days, and there's a bit of snow in the air. as a result the reality that winter is actually coming has settled into my consciousness. with that final acceptance of the inevitable, i thought this particular holiday song would be a lovely way to recognize the season within which we are becoming ever deeply immersed.

on this winter's night - lady antebellum from on this winter's night

the world in solemn stillness lay

an integral part of the sounds of the season are the christmas hymns. as we sing them today, they connect us to the many, many generations before us who likewise expressed in song their faith and trust in the hope-filled messages of the christmas story. today's song is one of the classics of the genre, and is performed by one of the great vocal talents of our time.

it came upon a midnight clear - josh groban from noel

everybody needs a place to belong

when it comes to the types of songs that resonate with me, i tend to gravitate particularly strongly to those that deal with friendships, not just at christmas but at all times. i don't know. i think the concept of having friends who are always there for you with loving support, a listening ear, a kind word, and a warm embrace has always been an ideal for my life in both what i receive from and who i try to be in a friendship.

i've recounted often on this blog that the manifestation of this friendship dynamic has been problematic for me when it comes to my relationships with men. i mentioned last evening that i had another intense session with my therapist. this difficulty with various types of relationships with those of the male persuasion took up much of our discussion. unfortunately, but as is often the case, i left with the same sense of sadness and regret with which i entered that conversation. it's been a mood that has lingered with me for several weeks, and i'm not sure when or how it will leave me.

today's song is about the fact that the holidays can be a lonely time for people. it is about reaching out to friends and finding that place of welcome and shelter. i myself have spent many a lonely christmas over the past several years. i know that the experience expressed in this song is one that i wish had happened during those alone times, actually, again, not just at christmas but at all times.

the opening lyric is one that resonates pretty strongly with me. listen for it, and when you hear the word "photo," just substitute the word "song". with that you'll have some insight into what writing this blog over the last week and a half has been like for me though i'm still searching for that place to belong, not just at christmas but at all times.

melancholy christmas - amy grant from tennessee christmas

to ease the soul that's aching

it was a full day today. i spent all of it running from one end of the city to another for meetings and events. then after work i had a therapy session in which i had my usual confrontation with the painful experiences i'm trying my best to move past.

i returned home not too long ago, feeling both physically and emotionally weary. as a result, i felt that i needed a gentle song for tonight.

scanning my catalog of holiday music yielded this lovely song. j.t. comes through for me again.

who comes this night - james taylor

they're putting up reindeer

i'm trying my best not to post songs that i did last year, but today i feel this song is the most appropriate one to share. since i first heard it many years ago, i've thought of it as a song that so well captures the feeling of being out of place during the holiday season, and as a result, just wanting to escape and "quit this crazy scene."

last night i was sitting in bed and noticed that i was back in this state of feeling almost devoid of emotion. it was an emptiness that strangely enough didn't yearn to be filled. it just was (and continues into today). it's a place that seems out of synch with the mood of the current season (at least the expectations thereof), and hence this song.

since last year i posted a cover of this song, i thought it only right to go to the original.

river - joni mitchell

mere words can't explain

another song from another favorite singer. surprisingly, given my mood, it's a love song set at christmas. unsurprisingly, given my mood, it's a bittersweet song about unrequited love. still, luther seems to make even heartbreak a rich experience.

every year, every christmas - luther vandross from this is christmas

it's christmas time in the city

i've long maintained that there is nothing like christmas time in new york city. you can then imagine how delighted i am to be back to partake in the sights and sounds of the holiday season in what i believe to be the greatest city on earth.

friday night, i was in the city to see the show natasha, pierre and the great comet of 1812 (which by the way is an amazing experience and you should get tickets if you are able). i had some time to kill before needing to get to the theatre, so i decided to take a walk through the streets of manhattan to see  what i could see in the time i had.

now moving around on my still recovering ankle was not the easiest thing to do, but i managed to make my way to macy's in herald square and the rockefeller centre christmas tree. then it was a trip through times square to the theatre. it was a briskly cold night, and the streets were packed with residents and visitors alike. despite the temperature and the crowds, it felt nice to be in the midst of it all - a feeling that i think today's song captures very, very well.

silver bells - bebo norman