still trying to find the way home

tonight's song echoes the sentiments of this morning's. another song about finding one's way home for the holidays that is just as affecting as the one posted earlier.

admittedly, these type of songs are somewhat difficult for me. they bring to mind a reality that i've seemed to lost.

i can remember listening to i'll be home for christmas as i studied for midterms in my dorm room in college, and even though i went to school only about 10 miles from home, i still yearned for the comfort of home at christmas. in like manner, as i made my way farther from home, i would hear this song, and it made me impatient to get back to where i was from.

this sense of home pretty much came to a halt when i came out as gay to my mother (who really is all there is to my immediate family) right after thanksgiving in 1999. she did not take it well then and still will not accept it as part of who i am.

i did not return "home" for the holidays for several years after that, and actually have not been to see my mother for christmas very much at all over the past decade and a half. to be honest, i feel that i've lost my home.

my mother actually no longer lives in the house in which i spent a good portion of my growing up years; however it's not the change in physical location that makes me feel that i have no home. if the connotation of that word is a place where you are loved, welcomed, and accepted for who you are, then indeed, home has been lost to me.

i keep hoping i will find another someday, and then songs like those shared today will have a place in my heart again.

home on christmas day - kristin chenoweth from a lovely way to spend christmas

if only in my dreams

another popular theme with christmas music is returning to the homestead to spend the holidays with family and friends of old. of all of the songs with this theme, the one i'm posting this morning is likely the most well known and the most popular.

the song was written in 1943, in the midst of world war II and was first recorded by bing crosby. in fact, it was the "b side" for crosby's recording of white christmas (thanks wikipedia). as you would imagine, this song was a very poignant one during the time with so many soldiers being separated from their loved ones.

the version i'm sharing now was first released in 2007, a time when the united states was in the midst of a serious military engagement overseas, and once again separation of families was a very present reality (and still is for many military families). this fact is actually reflected in this song as you will hear several military personnel identify themselves with a message for the people they miss and with whom they long to be.

it certainly is a great reminder that to have a home and be with the ones you love is probably one of the most precious gifts to have at this time of year.

i'll be home for christmas - josh groban from noel

we can all use some more lovin'

and to our rescue comes one of the great voices of our age. she's an artist who makes every song a true experience and she certainly does so here.

i have to admit that it's the type of christmas love song i probably relate more to especially in this time in my life. i know i've certainly mentioned to more than one guy i've taken a shine to that i was going to ask santa to bring me someone like him (or him) for christmas.

i don't see why the gift of a guy to spend time with would be such an unreasonable request. after all, i feel like i've been trying to be a good boy for a very long time.

in any event, close your eyes and allow ms. baker to sweep you away with this declaration of the desire for a christmas love.

christmas fantasy - anita baker from christmas fantasy

time for some more christmas lovin'

one of the fascinating things about the holiday season is how many love songs are set at this time of year. i mean valentine's day is the holiday everyone thinks about when the subject of celebrating love and relationships comes to mind, yet think about how many valentine's day songs come readily to mind.

perhaps it's not really surprising that this season serves as such great inspiration for love songs. the settings of cheerful decorations, intimate gatherings the spirit of joy in the air, and at least in some climates, sitting in front of a roaring fireplace sipping hot cocoa (or something a little stronger) do serve as the perfect backdrop for reflections on the preciousness of love.

anyway, i've already shared some terrific christmas love songs, but this particular song is a favorite of mine, coming from a favorite holiday album. it certainly proves my point about the holiday setting providing inspiration for expressing feelings about love in song. if this one doesn't warm your heart and make you want to hold the one you love close then maybe valentine's day is really more the holiday for you.

christmas, love and you - will downing from christmas, love and you

tidings of comfort and joy with some three kings on the side

tonight's selection follows on the theme of this morning. it takes a couple of traditional christmas carols and places them in a different musical context (and masterfully done at that). i particularly like this performance as it features one of my very favorite singers as a guest vocalist. great music, great singers, great arrangement, what more could you ask for from a holiday offering?

god rest ye merry gentlemen/we three kings - barenaked ladies (feat. sarah mclachlan) from a barenaked holiday

let's get a little jazzy

so today i'm going to post two songs that i find to be great fresh takes on traditional carols. this morning's song has a nice jazz beat to it and the vocal performance is simply sublime. i hope this brings a cool vibe to this busy time for you.

what child is this - vanessa williams from star bright

listen, listen

tonight i'm sharing a beautiful song that i believe captures the essence of what is special about this time of year. as the song says, open your heart and look around and listen. listen closely and be reminded that indeed in so many ways, in so many forms hope and love are everywhere for all of us.

december prayer - idina menzel from holiday wishes

1, 2, 3, 4 . . . .

here's another one of those songs that doesn't have a mention of christmas within it. it is commonly associated with christmas, however, as it is a song that was written by irving berlin for the classic holiday movie, white christmas. in the film this song is performed as a duet by bing crosby and rosemary clooney. it is a tender moment between their characters, who are ultimately destined to fall in love and (as is the way with hollywood musicals) live happily ever after in wedded bliss.

this gentle reminder that approaching life with a "glass half full" perspective is one i need to hear more often than not. i am certainly a glass half empty kind of person, always looking at what is missing rather than what is present. i'm not sure if that orientation to life will change anytime soon, but it is helpful, at least every now and again, to be nudged toward an outlook that is founded in gratitude for whatever good thing that has come my way.

count your blessings - amy grant from the christmas collection

lead the way

here's another traditional holiday song, but performed in not the traditional way. this is the thing that i love about this particular artist. he always seems to find a way to approach his music slightly off center, such that even a song that we've all heard countless times over the years can seem fresh and new.

this particular rendition i imagine will have you humming this tune long after you're done listening to it. hopefully, for you, that will be a good thing.

winter wonderland - jason mraz from a very special christmas vol. 7

shall we dance?

there are some holiday songs that just sweep you up and transport you to another time and place. whenever i hear this particular song, i am invariably overtaken by images of a large ballroom lavishly decorated with fresh greenery, candles, ornaments and poinsettias.

gliding around the room are men in tuxedos partnered with women in beautiful gowns of the finest materials and the jewel-toned colors of the season. reds and greens, blues and golds swirl around the expansive dance floor in intricate patterns, perfectly timed to the music performed by a small orchestra.

joy and merriment fill the air and the cares of the world are far away and momentarily forgotten.

such is the power of music and particularly the music of this magical season.

christmas waltz - the carpenters from a christmas portrait

and even cozier

the aspect of this song that i love the most is that it's a truly adult christmas song. you listen to it and all you want do is snuggle up with the person you love underneath a down comforter in front of a roaring fireplace.

well, i've got the fireplace and the down comforter. any volunteers to be my cuddle buddy?

baby it's christmas - amy grant from the christmas collection

time to get a little cozy

today i'm sharing one of those christmastime classics that interestingly enough doesn't ever actually mention the word "christmas" or even refer to the holiday season. still, it's pretty easy to see why it's such a favorite and is recorded so often on holiday album after holiday album. and it's pretty easy to imagine this couple going through this back and forth flirtation after a holiday season date or a christmas party.

i've picked this particular version because it's one of the few (actually the only one of which i'm aware) that the song is sung by two men. and sung very well indeed.

baby, it's cold outside - chris colfer and darren criss from glee the music: the christmas album

no, it really isn't

i thought to complement this morning's song, i would post another in the theme of the anticipation of the christmas season. now in listening to this song, i hope you think more of the season in which we are finding ourselves ever more deeply immersed, and less about the dwindling number of shopping days that remain until the actual day of celebration arrives.

christmas can't be very far away - amy grant from a christmas to remember

and a ho, ho, ho to you

for the past week or so, i've been in the midst of decorating the house for christmas. it's the first time i've felt like making any attempt at holiday decorating that evenly closely approximates how i used to decorate. that was an activity of martha stewart-like proportions. fortunately, i've scaled back quite a bit, but it's still taking some time to get the house the way i'd like it.

one of my annual christmas traditions is that i collect santas. i get them in a variety of forms, but i consistently order at least one type of particular type of santa statue from a specific high end retailer every year. each has some associated theme with it. there's highland fling santa, aspen santa, venetian santa, emperor napoleon santa, and so on.

i used to have many more than i do today, but i left quite a few behind at my ex's house, and my understanding is they now are for sale at the local goodwill, following his having the basement cleared out in preparation for putting the house up for sale earlier this year. it's my own fault really as, in the throes of my deep depression, i told him just to keep the stuff an do whatever he wanted with what i left behind. now that the clouds of depression have dissipated to a great extent, i definitely regret that decision, but it is what it is.

i guess my affinity for santas comes from the fact that i find this particular symbol of the holiday season to be one of the most endearing. the memories of waiting for santa are still palpable today, hoping i made the nice list once again and would get whatever i desired from the endless toy and game commercials that littered the airways then between thanksgiving and christmas. it's also fun to think about how many children over the decades since have engaged in that same tradition and how many are now waiting for that jolly fellow in the reindeer propelled sleigh to pay them a visit and leave loads and loads of brightly wrapped packages.

today's song is about that building anticipation of christmas day. it's one of those bouncy, jazzy, modern christmas classics that interestingly enough isn't performed that often of late. well, i am very glad this particular artist has performed it because she's one of my favorites and as always she does a truly great job with it.

the man with the bag - jane monheit from the season