i hear you and ...

so many kind, thoughtful, well-meaning and well-intentioned words of advice and encouragement have come my way over the past couple of weeks. each similar in content to the words that i've heard over the past two years.

keep trying. keep moving. keep believing.

and to each urging the same thoughts have come again and again. what do you do when you have tried (and tried and tried again)? when you've moved (and moved and moved some more and moved even further)? when you've hoped and believed so much that your heart has been rent in two by the effort (and the disappointment)?

you've done all of these things more times than any of the people advising you can imagine (and for more years than many of them have been alive) and the fulfilled life you hoped for never comes to pass. you're still alone. you still feel rejected and unloved. you still question if your life has any real worth or meaning.

what do you do when you're lost in the woods no hope to be found?

i've often thought of another set of words of advice over this time of uncertainty and confusion. i'm sure i've shared it here before and i'm sure it's guidance that many of you have heard before (and if you haven't it's shared quite eloquently in a wonderful movie called big eden. be sure to look for it).

essentially, it is advice given if you ever find yourself lost in the woods. rather than continually moving around hoping to find your way out, you should remain in one place and this will make it easier for the people who are looking for you to find you and bring you safely home.

i share this again because, while it might be foolish to hope or believe that what i need will come and find me if i just remain still and wait, i continue to feel that it's the only thing i am really capable of doing at this time.