heralding a new day

Trump LOSES IT on reporter in unhinged episode

what a terrible thing to realize....

as is likely the case with many of you, i have several playlists created in apple music (formerly known as itunes). every now and again, i like to listen to one playing as i soak in a nice, hot bath. tonight was such an occasion and i decided i would listen to a selection of some of my favorite songs from broadway shows and movie soundtracks. as i was listening, i started to notice that many of the songs were about finding love; and i felt a stirring in my heart that, though it's been a long-time since i'd experienced it, i still knew what it was - the desire for love. 

after what feels like an adult life filled with failed attempts to find a true, abiding love, i guess i assumed that feeling had died out. after i sat with this feeling for a bit, i couldn't help but think what a terrible thing to realize that you do still want to have someone to love in your life when you are at an age that the prospects of doing so seem so limited and the odds of finding that right person feel stacked against you. 

i think it's going to be a challenging night. 

a good man - may we be worthy to have him lead us

a response

i know this song has a different meaning, but for me, whenever i hear it, i see me appearing at the door of life and sharing this as my response to how life is overwhelming me at this time. it's really hard.

winning?

every day i struggle with thoughts about the painful struggle my life has become, and i question how long can i continue. finally, as i'm climbing into bed, i do my best to push these thoughts aside. i take a pill, and i fall asleep. i wake up the next morning a brand new day before me. they say that just making it to the next day is a victory, but as i think about dealing with yet another day that i know will be the same struggle again, i wonder, "did i win or did i lose?"

some good news

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/15/us/gay-transgender-workers-supreme-court.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage