Saturday, October 25, 2008

wondering

The thing about the ending of a relationship, at least what I'm coming to discover, is all of the questions that begin coming to mind. For Nigel, the questions seem to be "what went wrong?", "what can be done to salvage this?", and "is there any possibility that I would reconsider?" For me the questions seem to center on "how did I end up in such a dysfunctional relationship?", "why did I not pay attention to any of the warning signs?" and "why did I stay in it for so long?"

Actually, there are two questions that have risen to the surface and continue to roll around the surface of my cerebrum, "am I really well-suited for a live-in, intimate relationship," and even if the answer to that is "yes," "how do I know that I won't make the same mistakes all over again?"

Needless to write that this hasn't exactly been the easiest of weeks. What am I doing? Well, there's another one.

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marin mazzie - back to before (ragtime) July 4, 1998

ii was reminded of this performance tonight and wanted to share it here as a tribute to a phenomenal talent who left us way too soon.