toward the end of the work day today, i was standing by the community printer lost in aimless thought when a colleague and friend came up and said to me, "you look sad." "really? maybe i'm just tired" was my reply. to tell the truth, i really wasn't feeling much of anything at that moment. actually, i haven't been feeling much of anything in general for the past several days. i continue to be in a state of mere existence.
every now and again i might have an actual feeling (more often than not, sadness or anger), but for the most part i'm pretty empty inside. so much so that after those moments of emotion do come and go, i'm like, "what was that?" so unaccustomed to them have i become.
remember when you were a kid your parents told you not to make funny faces because it might stay that way permanently? i used to imagine what it would be like walking around for the rest of my life with a distorted face. i'm starting to wonder if the same danger may exist if you harbor a broken heart for too long?
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