a hope articulated

i took a walk yesterday. it was a nice, sunny spring day, and a breaking in my heart compelled me to retreat from my home and into the light and warmth. i grabbed my ipod and sunglasses and picked a recently purchased album to listen to as i ambled my way on my familiar route that i hadn't taken for many months.

during the course of the walk, i heard two songs that really affected me. i am sharing the first tonight and i will share the second hopefully tomorrow (i am not entirely confident where my emotional state will be at that time; i've had a rough couple of months).

when i heard this first song, it immediately reached deep in my soul and set off strong tremors of emotional resonance. in that moment i realized this artist was singing about a redemptive experience that i longed to have. rightly or wrongly it articulated a deep longing that i had in terms of finding a companion, a friend, a lover or whatever it is i'm seeking in this man (or these men) that truthfully my heart aches for more and more each day.

i had hoped that i found it when i met michael, and sadly over time i learned that i had not -- far from it really. so much time, so much hurt, moving me even further from this desired experience and increasing my doubt that this kind of love even exists for me.  in fact, i have had many, many  moments since leaving michael that it's felt as if my heart is so shattered that there is no one who can love me enough for me to be whole again.

and then there was this song reminding me that no matter what these dark moments speak to me, i still hope for that love. god help me.

piece by piece - kelly clarkson

And all I remember is your back
Walking towards the airport, leaving us all in your past
I travelled fifteen hundred miles to see you
Begged you to want me, but you didn't want to

But piece by piece, he collected me up
Off the ground, where you abandoned things and
Piece by piece he filled the holes that you burned in me
Six years old and you know
He never walks away
He never asks for money
He takes care of me
He loves me
Piece by piece, he restored my faith
That a man can be kind and the Father could, stay

And all of your words fall flat
I made something of myself and now you wanna come back
But your love, it isn't free, it has to be earned
Back then I didn't have anything you needed so I was worthless

But piece by piece, he collected me up
Off the ground, where you abandoned things and
Piece by piece he filled the holes that you burned in me
Six years old and you know
He never walks away
He never asks for money
He takes care of me
'Cause he loves me
Piece by piece, he restored my faith
That a man can be kind and a father could, stay

Piece by piece
Piece by piece
Piece by piece

Piece by piece
Piece by piece
Piece by piece

Piece by piece I fell far from the tree
I will never leave her like you left me
And she will never have to wonder her worth
Because unlike you I'm going to put her first and you know
He'll never walk away,
He'll never break her heart
He'll take care of things, he'll love her
Piece by piece, he restored my faith
That a man can be kind and the Father should be great

Piece by piece
Piece by piece
Piece by piece

Songwriters
GREGORY KURSTIN, KELLY CLARKSON

Read more: Kelly Clarkson - Piece By Piece Lyrics | MetroLyrics