this great absence

the familiar voices in my life have gone silent. there are legitimate, understandable reasons for this occurrence, and yet, that fact does little to assuage the emotional pain.

i leave work and i enter into this great absence. save the much appreciated daily email exchanges with a dear friend, there is no other consistent contact with another person. it is just me.

once again, i feel lost and alone and to some degree abandoned. i place no blame on my otherwise occupied friends. they too have difficulties and new challenges of their own to bear, and the sense of abandonment comes from a place far deeper than the reaction to current circumstances.

"nature abhors a vacuum" is a fundamental law of the universe. for me, when this phenomenon of the great absence occurs in my life, past hurts, disappointments, and losses from previous relationships rush in to fill the space. this is not the kind of company that i am looking for.

i follow - audra mcdonld w/theresa mccarthy