something new, something old

one of the strange things about life is how the simplest of gestures can set off a cascade of events that lead to a monumental change. you get a message from a search firm recruiter about a job more than halfway across the country. you agree to a chat. that chat leads to a series of interviews. next thing you know you have a job offer that you accept, and you find yourself preparing for a move to a new place and a new phase of your life. at least that's been my experience over the past couple of months.

and then there is another gesture. you send a text message to a friend saying you want to talk later about this new opportunity -- an opportunity that will lead to your moving to the same city in which he resides. with this comes the hope that your increasingly distant relationship will have a chance to reverse course. your friend says he will try to talk with you that evening, but it doesn't happen. you send a few texts, but there's no response. you wait for days with no word about when if ever you will connect. then you see he's online and you reach out again and then there's a connection.

there is an apology for why you didn't connect that evening days before. he shares with you that he has gotten a job in another city and will be moving there likely before you even make your move. you congratulate him on his success, but there is no reciprocal response to your news. a conversation, the longest you two have had in a long time ensues. you share this seems to be a sign that perhaps this is "the end of our run." he protests and says it's not the end. you rebut and in your heart you know that all you hoped for this particular relationship will never come to pass. you go to bed weepy and have had moments ever since when he comes to mind. this too has been my experience.

and so here i sit, writing once again in this blog about things to come and things that have been. i am on the cusp of entering what i hope will be an exciting and fulfilling new chapter in my life, yet i know i will be carrying some of the pain of this chapter forward with me as well. things may be new but some things never change.