almost paradoxical

i believe the best compliment i've ever received in my life occurred during my senior year in college. it was during a senior retreat, and i was with a group of people that i had traveled together closely with through the college experience for the previous four years. we were seated in a circle and charged with giving "affirmations" to one another with each person taking a seat in the center of the circle and then all of the others each sharing a single positive trait about the person.

when it was my turn, i listened to some very nice comments but one stood out. when it got to a girl named laura, she made a statement that has stayed with me to this day. she said something to the effect of, "if you're ever having a day when you're feeling down about yourself, you should talk to clarus; he will make you feel so good about who you are."

i care about my friends, and to the best of my ability, i do try to provide support and encouragement to them.

recently, i've had opportunities to be that encourager (at least i hope i have been) to a few young guys whose life paths have crossed with my own. whatever form the support has taken, i've come to recognize that my motivation is to provide them with the sense that there is at least one person in this world who cares about them unconditionally. that no matter what else is happening to them, they are valued, and yes, i'd even say loved.

there is one thing though that is almost paradoxical about this desire to be an encourager, and that is this. the one person i seem to be unable to encourage is myself.