a few months ago i wrote an entry in which i referred to a past friendship with parenthetical commentary that there was more to be reflected on about that relationship and that "perhaps" I might do so someday. consider this entry a fulfillment of that "perhaps" (at least partially). this entry, as alluded to by the title, is a brief reflection on one of the statements i made in that previous entry, which was, simply put, that i regret that the dysfunctional dynamics of the relationship did not allow for that person to experience me at my best.
it is what i regret most as i believe that at my best i can be a pretty great person to know. and at his best i think the same may be able to be said about him. it is indeed regretful that two "great people to know" didn't get to have that great experience with one another.
i recognize that i am not solely at fault for what went wrong with the friendship as he provided ample fuel to my insecurities by his own duplicities. even so, i am still ultimately accountable for how i reacted and for whatever pain, anxiety, or stress that i may have caused him as a result, i am truly sorry.
i hope that somehow, someday, by some means, he is able to know that.
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