it's over

it's over and this time for good. michael doesn't want to see me again and i'm in pretty much the same place. his next to last note was filled with promises of doing better and disbelief at the fact that i was giving up "having it all." maybe he's right. maybe i am giving up having it all.

as often happens in my life, i was driving to work and a song came on that summed up everything that i was experiencing (click on song title, as usual, for audio):

it's not enough by avril lavigne

I’m sorry
If this hurts you
But I tried to keep what we had once
I was wrong
It wasn’t keeping me awake
You didn’t listen (You didn’t listen)
You didn’t hear me (You didn’t hear me)
When I said I want more
I got no more
You were stealing me away
Oh

[chorus]
It’s not enough,
it’s not enough
to give me
What it is I want
It’s not enough,
it’s not enough
to get me
Everything I need
And I, I wish it was
I think it’s time
To give this up

All the memories
That we’re losing
All the time
that I spent with you everyday
I think it’s running down the drain
I’m feeling (feeling)
That we’re fading
Don’t make this as hard as you think you’d be
It’s a lot easier than it seems
Yeah

[chorus]
It’s not enough,
it’s not enough
to give me
What it is I want
It’s not enough,
it’s not enough
to get me
Everything I need
And I, I wish it was
I think it’s time
To give this up

And I can feel it falling down
Slowly, slowly
I can see you’re starting to drown
Can’t stop it now
I can see ya burning out
So show me, show me
How are ya gonna turn it around because…?

[repeat chorus]
It’s not enough,
it’s not enough
to give me
What it is I want
It’s not enough,
it’s not enough
to get me
Everything I need
And I, I wish it was
I think it’s time
To give this up