shaken

why is it that my emotional revelations most often come when i'm driving? today i was coming back from a shopping jaunt, and as i was rounding a corner, i started to reflect on all that is (actually that is not) happening in my life. thinking about the slow progress of the new job coming into fruition led to questioning about where exactly my life was headed led to a real despair of happiness ever finding its way into my life. it was then that i realized that all the endings and loss of the past year and a half have really rattled me. it's almost like whatever part of me that harbors hope and trust has been shaken free from its moorings and is now drifting aimlessly somewhere inside me. i'm not sure how and if it will find its way back to a secure place in my heart. thinking about such things when driving is pretty perilous. i'm surprised i didn't head straight into the nearest ditch.