the kind of not well

sorry to report it was another rough saturday. the week has been a difficult one. the brutal conversation with sean on tuesday night surfaced some old hurts from friendships past. my therapy session on thursday was like reopening every painful wound that i've ever experienced. i spent much of the day today running around getting paperwork together for michael to help him get a home loan on a new place closer to work (something that is required by a newly diagnosed medical condition). i don't feel well at all. in fact, it's the kind of "not well" that has me questioning both if i every have been well before or whether i ever will be again.