another monday ambles in, and i'm sorry to report i'm not in the best of spirits today. it's strange too as, for the first time in a long, long time, i had a pretty productive day yesterday. i actually did the laundry, went grocery shopping, filled up my car with gas and got it washed, paid some bills, and most significantly, unpacked several boxes. i did notice though as i headed to bed that i had a lingering sense of melancholy. i thought it would dissipate with a good night's sleep. it has not.
if anything, my mood is probably at a lower point after the sleep (which was good and solid) than it was when i laid my head on the pillow. maybe it's the weekend's reflections on my father. maybe it's the thought of coming back to a work culture with which i'm experiencing a certain degree of frustration. maybe it's the pressure of still having much to do to get prepared for a visit from my mother -- a visit that i have mixed thoughts about. maybe it's the continued feeling of desiring to be with someone. maybe it's not having the opportunity to purge some of my angst through therapy last week due to my psychologist being on vacation. maybe it's some hiccup with my medication.
i'm not sure of the exact cause for my current mood, but as i look back on the list of all the maybes in the previous paragraph, i have to admit, with all of that facing me, i probably should be grateful that my mood isn't worse than it is. well, at least not yet.
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