well, it's that time of year again -- time for the fashion doll collector's convention that i have attended for the last five years. i've just finished unpacking and i'm waiting for room service to arrive with my lunch. i just looked at the past couple of years' entries in this blog that commented on the start of this event. after reading them, all i can think is, "my, oh my, how times have changed."
in each year's entry, the person who wrote those blogs is brimming over with excitement and anticipation about the events that are about to come. at least at this writing, that person didn't make the trip to convention this year. instead, i find myself feeling quite weary and depressed and wondering if it would be possible to go through much of this experience without actually having to engage with anyone else.
it's a shame really. i have friends that i get to see at this event each year whose company i truly enjoy. i guess i'm feeling that in the state i'm in, i can't possibly be the person that they are used to seeing and having a fun time with. i feel so broken and empty that i'm literally questioning how i will make it through this event. having a good time is not even on the radar screen.
i am thinking about the fact that last year's event was one of the last moments of pure, unadulterated fun that i can remember having over the past year. what a sad, sad year this has been. and the vision of better days ahead still remains beyond my sightline.
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