another difficult day. we had a memorial service for our friend and work colleague who passed away. we got to share remembrances of her life. it was lovely. there was much laughter and tears. i hope it served as a catharsis for the hundred or so folks who gathered to pay their respects.
for me, i suspect, the pain will linger for some time to come. she was a very large part of my life here in this organization, and supported me in so many ways -- not just in work but in life. we talked many times over the course of the day. she was the only person here that i shared the full extent of the emotional struggle i have been having over this very difficult year. and now she is gone, and i wonder what does that mean for my life both here at work and outside of it moving forward.
the pain is so great that it feels as if my heart will never recover. my life continues to feel as if it is becoming so quiet and so small such that it hardly seems to qualify as "life" at all. i just don't know.
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