this has been another one of those lost weekends. i've been drifting in and out of a state of a deep and mind numbing depression. some moments i resemble a sentient human being. in others, i feel as if it is an effort to remember my own name or much about my identity. the purpose and meaning of my life are swallowed in the sadness of the isolation and solitary nature of it.
there have been a few bright spots -- a new friendship that i hope will continue to develop and deepen; another friend who may be making a long-desired visit after the new year. but even so, these bright spots feel like burning embers from a fire that died long ago, doing their best to hang on to provide some last bits of light and warmth in an ever encroaching darkness and cold.
it's snowing outside right now. the kind of snowfall that is blowing and persistent. it may be cold outside but i fear a greater chill has overtaken my heart.
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