frequency

what do you do when the only channel that seems to be coming through to your mind is the one attuned to all of the pain you've experienced in life? how do you have the belief that you can make it through the next day when all you've done in the current one is relive so many of the hurtful episodes that have occurred over the span of your life? who do you trust when the only signal you're picking up on is the one that reminds you of the loss of relationships that you believed in and trusted and the deepening of the sense of rejection that has resulted? where do you go when at every turn you see in your mind's eye every attempt at starting again to make a better life ending in yet another disappointment? and all i seem to ever be able to do at times like these is wonder, why does this keep happening to me?