an old friend

in the midst of my gloomy disposition, i thought i should capture something truly special that happened in my life a few months ago. one day i woke up to my clock radio and there was a segment playing on npr. in my slightly groggy state, i listened to the discussion and then caught a name that i knew, who was identified as the speaker. i knew this name because it was an individual who was my best friend from elementary school.

i had moved away in about sixth grade and though we kept in some contact, the last time we had spoken was our freshman year in college. i had wondered what had happened to this individual over the years. online searches had not yielded many clues save his occupation, and given what it was, it made sense that any further information would be difficult to come by via a public search. it was also how i knew that the speaker was indeed my friend.

i learned from the npr that he had since changed jobs and so i thought i'd see if by some chance he was on linkedin. a quick entry of his name in the search tool showed that he was indeed a linkedin user. i sent off a quick note and wondered if i would get a response. about an hour later, i got a lovely note saying that he was really happy to hear from me and provided his phone number to contact him.

we spoke the following weekend and in a couple of hours did a high level catch up on 30 or so years of life history. since then a business trip provided me the opportunity to visit with him and his family, and it was a delightful time of reconnecting. what was really wonderful was to see how this friend from childhood has become a really great man. we pledged to remain in contact and so far have been doing pretty good at that.

oh, the one thing that i forgot to mention with respect to his first note back on linkedin was a sentiment he shared. he wrote, "you couldn't know this but i consider you my very first best friend." i feel the same way about him.

maybe . . .

maybe it's about a continuous re-awakening to a few things -- life is too short for regrets; it's ok to let go of some illusions; sometimes you have to make your own rules; every now and again, i need to come first; detours aren't always about losing your way; love will last . . . .

maybe . . .

struggling . . .

it's been awhile since i was last here. and if i am here, it's because i need to let something out and i'm struggling for answers. i've been in a blue mood for a few weeks now. i'm not sure why. i've been disappointed by so much that has been happening lately.  the common thread is that all of the circumstances seem to be examples of lack of progress in moving forward. 

two songs have been speaking to me in this time of sadness -- both by the same artist. ironically (or maybe providentially), they appear back to back on her new "greatest hits" album. i'm posting links to them here (click on the titles below). i understand why the first one speaks to me. feeling like an outsider to life and yet having a desire for deep connection has haunted me pretty much from the first moment i can remember. the second one, i'm not clear on why the resonance. all i know is that i have the sense that it is a song that somehow will be the theme for this next period of my life and that the answers to how and why will appear when the timing is right.  in the meantime, if you've got any suggestions, please let me know.

people like us

catch my breath

both by kelly clarkson

microsoft fail

some of you have no doubt read about the fiasco of a product launch that occurred yesterday with the release of the microsoft surface pro. all over the us, people went to various retailers to purchase this new tablet with the power of a laptop only to be told there were few to none of the items to be found. I was one of those people. i went to two best buys, the microsoft store in the local mall, and the microsoft online store. i ended up having to place a pre-order at a best buy with no assurance of if and when i would receive the product.

when i went on the ms online site, i ended up buying a carrying case for the device i hope to own someday soon (i also ended up buying a touch pad cover at that best buy -- i'm nothing if not an optimist). as a result of that purchase, i got a follow up online survey about my experience. the section below is what i wrote in response to the last question of what would have made the experience better:

It would be helpful to have the actual product that I'm looking for. I am extremely disappointed with the way the Microsoft Surface Pro launch was handled. I went on the site to purchase the device and a wedge mouse and ended up leaving with a carrying case in the vain hope that I would have the other products in the near future. Yet I have no sense when that day will be and your company has done little to provide any clarity. Again, I am hopeful, but I am also skeptical of how much I should truly invest in Microsoft products. I can assure you that if Apple ever turns its attention to a device that can do true business computing, I cannot guarantee that I would continue to endorse your products. You still have an opportunity for service recovery -- one I should add that is dwindling with every passing day. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

i also asked to be contacted by email about the experience. it will be interesting to see the response and what happens next. rest assured that i will post a follow-up here.

southwest -- i'm pissed

please consider this a rant. posted below is a response i just sent to southwest customer service to a huge problem that occurred yesterday. you're going to have to glean what happened from this note cause i really have no desire to go through it all. suffice it to say per the title --i'm really pissed!


I am writing to indicate my extreme dissatisfaction with the responses I have received regarding my issue yesterday. Your little Facebook stunt created significant problems for me, which I feel were barely acknowledged by the emails I received -- two of which were clearly form letters. Even the one that was a more personalized response to my long wait time email seemed to be oblivious to the magnitude of the issue. 

I have had over two thousand dollars debited from my bank account as a result of the problems created by your promotion -- a promotion by the way I had no idea was occurring and did not apply to my airfare nor was there an offer given to me when I finally got to speak to someone at 4 am in the morning. To that point, the email indicated that my problem was resolved at 4 am. What your customer service rep neglected to notice though was that the problem was resolved because I called customer service at 4 am. I can assure you that is not my normal time for waking up on a Saturday morning but given my four hour wait the night before, I felt it was necessary to get the problem resolved. Meanwhile, I will have to wait until Monday or Tuesday to have the refund hit my bank account -- a continued inconvenience that once again your responses did not begin to address.

I write this more as an exercise to vent my own frustrations about this situation, which I thought were past me until I received the responses to my emails. It is clear that Southwest has little regard for me as a customer, deciding to paint my issues in a rosy picture of the excitement about your promotion. I  have two flights coming up, following which Southwest will move to my airline of last resort. I state "last resort" as it is likely due to work or some unforeseen circumstance that I may have to fly your airline. You should know that if that situation does occur, it will not be as a result of a lack of trying on my part to find some alternative means for travel. 

three times a charm

the counterbalance to that fatalism has been a hope/belief that God is good and love is still the most powerful force in our world.

i wrote that sentence in an email this morning as i was explaining another comment i had written -- a comment i no longer believe is true. so it appears life has given me another chance at love with my first, true and only love (that is if he hasn't changed his mind overnight). i won't spend a lot of time pondering what brought our roads back together. I will just be grateful that they are merging once again and will commit myself that they do not separate again until we are called back into communion with the One from whom all love comes.

i can't help but imagine the judgements that will come from family and friends with this decision. to all who read this blog and may feel critical of our choice, i ask one favor. with every recriminating thought, please lift a prayer for us, that our love will be enough to heal, to hold us fast to one another, to keep us true, and to make us happy.

and now to my beloved i dedicate two songs. the first is about something that it took this last year of separation to realize that it truly applies to how i feel about us (though given a choice, i'd go with good times with you). the second is a hope, a prayer, and a wish that the sentiments expressed in that song will be how we feel about one another when we rise in the morning, as we work through the day, and as we close our eyes for slumber at night.

i meant what i said last night. i love you. i always have. i know now more than ever i always will.

i'd rather by luther vandross

lucky by jason mraz and colbie caillat

opening doors

i've opened this door to let you in. not sure how you will feel about what you see in this recorded history. it is who i have been, who i am, and who i will become.