every day that goes by i seem to be a little less confident that my life will get better. i'm a little less believing that this emotional pain will end. a little less trusting in the belief that the people i know care anything about me. a little less hopeful that love is available for me. or that even if they did or it were that it would make any difference in my life.
today i forced myself out of bed and into the wider world against my better judgement. the process of changing psychotropic medications has left me more vulnerable emotionally. this persisting sickness is draining me physically. i thought a little shopping expedition would do me good. i was wrong.
i feel yet another emotional breakdown is imminent and the saddest part is i'm not sure i care anymore. about me. about anything.
marin mazzie - back to before (ragtime) July 4, 1998
ii was reminded of this performance tonight and wanted to share it here as a tribute to a phenomenal talent who left us way too soon.
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