so the events of this weekend did not exactly occur in the way that i would have liked. i expressed a desire that did not manifest in the way that i had hoped, and the disappointment that resulted created a fairly sizable rupture in my heart.
and now it's monday. and while i wish i could say that i'm not still hurting that unfortunately is not the case. what is the case is that i do know that i need to try to do my best to move beyond the messiness of the past couple of days. yet even with that resolve i am afraid to do so because i know it means trusting in something i'm not sure i should, believing in something that i'm not sure is true, and opening my heart to potential further damage.
even with all of that, i will do my best to let go of the hurt and get to a better place with this particular relationship and life in general. i just hope that sometime soon the hurt will be willing to let go of me as well.
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marin mazzie - back to before (ragtime) July 4, 1998
ii was reminded of this performance tonight and wanted to share it here as a tribute to a phenomenal talent who left us way too soon.
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