another moment in a bookstore

it's amazing how in even the briefest of moments deep emotional pain can strike. i had stopped by my  local bookstore on my way home from picking up some take out tex mex. as i was perusing the titles in the graphic novels section (yes, if you had not already discerned this fact by now, i am a geek), i heard the voices of a man and a woman in animated conversation coming closer. they seemed to be talking about some kind of project, maybe for work or school. they were about to pass by the aisle i was in when i heard the woman exclaim, "oooo, manga." i turned to see them enter into the space, the woman reaching for the title that caught her eye.

they were young, no older than mid-20's. i couldn't tell if they were just friends or something more but i could tell they were enjoying an evening of companionship. the man pointed to another title and commented that he thought the woman would enjoy with her being a fan of another writer. "if you like his stuff," the man said, "then you'll really like this."

i looked at them, as they were smiling and laughing, and i thought about the nice time they seemed to be having enjoying one another's company on a quiet friday night. i thought about the fact that it had been many, many months since i had enjoyed a similar moment and that i had no one here in my local life with whom to enjoy such a moment now. and in an instant the familiar feeling of that psychic knife stabbing into my heart and renting it in two, releasing what feels like a lifetime of emotional hurt came over me. i stepped out of the aisle and my eyes threatened to overflow.

it's a shame really. i'd been having a pretty decent day up until then.