it's now the monday after a three day weekend. it amazes me that after a weekend where i literally did virtually nothing, i am still tired (i guess it doesn't help that i went to bed at close to 1 a.m. and awoke at 6 this morning). and now i have a week looming ahead of me, which includes not only the usual slate full of meetings (except, strangely enough for today, in which i just have my leadership coaching session) but also my having to address the results of my decision to let go of one of my direct reports (communications have to go out, reassignment of work needs to take place, and i need to start the process of finding his replacement). on top of all that, i have to report for jury duty in the morning, and as much as i respect the importance of my civic duty, i so hope i am not impaneled.
the way i feel today, a little weary and not exactly excited about the week, makes me think of a reflection i was having last thursday as i was headed into the three day weekend. it occurred to me that i really didn't much care for having a three day weekend that started on a friday. the reason, i surmised, was that when the holiday occurs on a friday, because you've worked so hard all week anyway, thursday just feels like friday after a full week of work and the holiday then really just feels like a saturday and saturday and sunday just feel like an extended sunday and then you get to come back to a full week. however, when the holiday falls on a monday, then it's like having a regular weekend and a bonus day off and then you get to go back to a shortened work week, which gets you to the next weekend that much quicker. that's a much better dynamic all the way around.
i guess what would be an even better dynamic is my being in a better emotional state where getting through weeks and getting to time off is not such a big deal. life is short, and i so much would prefer to be embracing and savoring what i experience every day rather than seeing my life as so incomplete and unsatisfying.
i think i'm beginning to move out of that emotional way station and starting to feel again. unfortunately, it doesn't seem like i'm moving in the direction that i'd hoped.
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