i wonder?

i wonder when, this side of death, the pain of my daily living will end?

i wonder when something that felt so right and good and true in a shadowed moment remains the same in the light of day the next day and the day after that and the day after that?

i wonder when the people who tell me to trust them, to believe them that they will remain in my life are actually there a week, a month, a year later?

i wonder when i will stop having these times when i feel that life is just about disappointment?

i wonder when i will stop questioning what is the point, where is the meaning, why am i continuing on?

i wonder when i won't feel so very, very, very alone?

i wonder if such a life could ever happen for me?