it appears i'm going through another period in my life when everything i do, everything about me feels like a complete and utter failure. at every moment, from every quarter of my life the messages seem to come that i am not enough, never have been, never will be. you can fill in the space "not" and "enough" with whatever you wish and it likely will apply to a feeling of inadequacy i've had of late, but here's a sampling of some of the words that come immediately to mind for me: smart, attractive, sane, capable, strong, stable, supportive.... i'm sure there's more but i'm too tired to think go on.
sadly, i've been in this place more than a few times before. i imagine this won't be the last time i'm ever here again. i guess the strangest thing is that when i'm in this place, i can't ever imagine a time that i have not been here or a time that i will move on from it to a better place. i guess that's the very definition of doubt and i'm drowning in it.
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