i had another one of those dreams last night.
i was sitting on a couch with a man that was unknown to me in my waking life but very known to me in this world of my dreams.
he was a friend. a good friend. a best friend.
we were sitting on a couch together amongst a group of other friends, in the dark, watching a movie. his arm was around me and at a certain point, for no immediately apparent reason, he put a finger on my chin and turned my face towards his.
he smiled at me. it was a smile with which i was very familiar. a smile that said i care about you my friend. a smile that made me feel safe and loved.
i smiled back in kind and with the same feeling.
and then he leaned into me and our lips touched. this was new. something that we had not done before but something that also felt very right.
we kissed and his tongue lightly entered my mouth. i sucked on the tip and the act filled me with warmth and peace.
and then i woke up. the warm feeling still lingering within me and a smile on my face.
but as the day has gone on the warm feeling has left me and a cold ache of loneliness has taken its place. and the smile has given way to soft tears and a yearning heart.
and i wonder, do i wish i didn't have these types of dreams or that i didn't wake up from them?
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