needed - a dose of love

so i've hurt my ankle. well, actually hurt is probably understating the situation. i've actually fractured it. it's the result of an overzealous workout in which, rather than listening to the initial pain signals my body was sending, i decided to "push through" the pain. i pushed through all right all the way into a crack in my ankle bone.

this stupidity was only exceeded by the fact that i assumed that i had merely sprained my ankle and all i needed to do was ice it and take some ibuprofen and all would be well. and so, i proceeded to walk on it (limp most of the time) for two plus weeks until finally the pain became so great i needed to go to the emergency room, where, much to my surprise and dismay, i learned about the full extent of damage i had brought upon myself.

and so here i lay on my living room couch with a temporary cast, awaiting a trip to the orthopedist on monday where it will be determined if i need to go into a soft cast or not. i am not happy about this turn of events (which i'm sure comes as no surprise).

as a result of this injury, i am walking with a cane, which makes everything take twice as long to accomplish. i am not able to drive and will have have to spend much of my time within the four walls of my apartment. i will work from home with occasional trips into the office for which i will have to get a car to take me.

and if the physical pain and inconveniences were not enough, there is also the emotional toll this injury is taking on me. it feels as if there is a special kind of loneliness that visits me as a single adult dealing with any kind of illness or physical ailment. it seems to cut deeper into my heart and weighs heavier on my mind. my mood is darker and my sense of vulnerability is more acute. all because there is no one here with me to ease this burden and to nurture me to health.

i wonder at times like this which is worse, the actual physical injury or the emotional turmoil that accompanies it. funny thing though is i can take medication for the physical pain and a boot will be placed around my foot to protect it from further injury and facilitate the healing process. i guess the love of another would be the cure for my wounded soul. unfortunately, that is one remedy  for which my doctor can't prescribe.