I know. It's pretty amazing. Two entries in less than 24 hours. Someone alert Ripley's that there's a new phenomenon to report on. Actually, the earlier entry had been one I had been sitting on for quite awhile and just had not had the opportunity to commit it to blog space. This morning provided that opportunity.
Now, I sit here after probably (no, definitely) the best weekend I've had since I've been here. A very dear friend, one that I've known since eighth grade, came for a weekend visit. We did some sightseeing in Cambridge when she got here and then had fun in the city yesterday afternoon by walking around and doing a little window shopping. Early evening we met my new friend Dan and his friend Tim at Symphony Hall and watched a hilarious reading by David Sedaris. The evening was then capped off by a great meal and wonderful conversation at a little French bistro around the corner from the hall.
I'm now just back from dropping off my friend Rachel (of course a pseudonym which I hope she is okay with) at the train station, and I find myself a little weary. Though there were many moments of laughter, I did spend quite a bit of time talking about the situation with Nigel. As I told Rachel last night, perhaps the most difficult aspect of sharing the inner workings of my relationship with Nigel is watching the various looks of disbelief and near horror that crosses everyone's face. These kinds of reactions can be particularly disconcerting when I haven't even gotten to the parts that I deem to be the really difficult issues. It's kind of like telling this funny story and the people are laughing well before the part that you think is funny. And though all the talk has been helpful, it has also been very fatiguing and it definitely feels like that's caught up with me.
Moving forward in this whole situation is going to be really challenging, but move forward I must. I think Rachel really helped me frame the situation in a way that shows the stark reality. She shared with me that her last relationship was one that while acceptable at some levels was by no means one that she wanted to continue. I met the guy she dated once and thought he was nice and she shared that he definitely was. It's just that she knew that she did not want to be with him for the long haul.
And that's really it, isn't it? It's not who is right or wrong, good or bad, help or hindrance. It's whether you still see that it makes sense to be together or not -- whether being whole and well in mind, body and spirit is supported by the relationship or not. I'm leaning toward not, but time will tell if that lean turns into a fall, or, better yet, a step.
Now, I sit here after probably (no, definitely) the best weekend I've had since I've been here. A very dear friend, one that I've known since eighth grade, came for a weekend visit. We did some sightseeing in Cambridge when she got here and then had fun in the city yesterday afternoon by walking around and doing a little window shopping. Early evening we met my new friend Dan and his friend Tim at Symphony Hall and watched a hilarious reading by David Sedaris. The evening was then capped off by a great meal and wonderful conversation at a little French bistro around the corner from the hall.
I'm now just back from dropping off my friend Rachel (of course a pseudonym which I hope she is okay with) at the train station, and I find myself a little weary. Though there were many moments of laughter, I did spend quite a bit of time talking about the situation with Nigel. As I told Rachel last night, perhaps the most difficult aspect of sharing the inner workings of my relationship with Nigel is watching the various looks of disbelief and near horror that crosses everyone's face. These kinds of reactions can be particularly disconcerting when I haven't even gotten to the parts that I deem to be the really difficult issues. It's kind of like telling this funny story and the people are laughing well before the part that you think is funny. And though all the talk has been helpful, it has also been very fatiguing and it definitely feels like that's caught up with me.
Moving forward in this whole situation is going to be really challenging, but move forward I must. I think Rachel really helped me frame the situation in a way that shows the stark reality. She shared with me that her last relationship was one that while acceptable at some levels was by no means one that she wanted to continue. I met the guy she dated once and thought he was nice and she shared that he definitely was. It's just that she knew that she did not want to be with him for the long haul.
And that's really it, isn't it? It's not who is right or wrong, good or bad, help or hindrance. It's whether you still see that it makes sense to be together or not -- whether being whole and well in mind, body and spirit is supported by the relationship or not. I'm leaning toward not, but time will tell if that lean turns into a fall, or, better yet, a step.
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