Life has been a bit of a jumble for me lately. I find myself confronting thoughts and emotions that are at once both unexpected and familiar. So there's more than a bit of "where did that come from" and "oh yeah that's right" going on between my ears. This angst filled struggle naturally, given my entries of late, rests on my relationship with Nigel.
Though others tell me otherwise, I am unsure how our relationship should move forward. He continues to be unhappy about the separation and I continue to be fine with it. Actually, no, the truth I've allowed myself to acknowledge is that I actually prefer the separation, and don't really see how we could ever live together again. If I go by the basic premise that people pretty much are who they essesntially are, then it doesn't make sense for these two peoples to continue in this relationship in the same way.
And that's as far as I get. An understanding of what the "different way" for our relationship should be continues to elude me. It's tough, and to add to the complexity, for weeks I'd been having trouble getting my commitment ring on my left ring finger. With some major twisting, turning, maybe a little lotion I'd manage to get it on and with some effort I was able to get it off each evening. Then the other day, no matter what I did, I couldn't get the ring on. It just didn't fit anymore.
1 comment:
That is strange, but also not that strange.
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