the good kid syndrome

for pretty much all of my life i've been what can best be described as a "good kid." while that may seem a strange appellation for a man closing fairly quickly on 50, i use it because it evokes the exact impression i want to give. you know the "good kid." many of you have also been the "good kid." the one who listened to and obeyed their parents, never was late for curfew, got good grades in school, participated in extra-curricular activities, volunteered for service work, was kind to friend and stranger alike. and from there being a good kid evolved into being a reliable employee, a friendly neighbor, an engaged community member and the like.

if this is you, then you also likely have experienced what i call "good kid syndrome," which is simply the fact that even "good kids" aren't perfect, yet when this lack of perfection reared its head, and some how you failed to be all that you wanted and others expected, the reaction to your failing seemed to be much more severe than that experienced by your "not so good kid" siblings, friends, classmates, co-workers, etc. if you asked why the different treatment, the general reply was something to the affect of "because i know you can do better" or "i expect more of you than [fill in name here]."

i've been experiencing an instance of "good kid syndrome" during my time of employment in my current role. you see, i've worked for my current boss for about half of my career in three different places. i value our relationship and the trust that's been placed in me. i also have had to watch as colleagues of mine have been allowed to work at a lesser level than i am expected to work. granted, if i did work at that level, i am pretty sure i would not have had the opportunity to continue working with said boss beyond our first employment relationship.

as clear as i am about this fact, there are moments that even that is not solace enough for dealing with "good kid syndrome." today, i learned that a colleague who has continually failed at his responsibilities may be getting yet another reprieve from termination. in another instance i learned that requirements that were placed on me in hiring for a position are not being placed on another colleague. and yet with all of this and the accompanying momentary disappointment and thoughts of "that's not fair" i know by morning i will get over it and i will dutifully soldier on to do my best and be my best. that's just what "good kids" do.