worn out at week's end

it has been one busy partial work week and i have to admit i'm spent. after a couple of 12 hour work days filled with presentations, discussions, and evening dinner meetings, i was able to leave work a bit early today, and following a quick stop at barnes and noble, i've spent much of the time since sleeping. now i'm waking up with that yucky feeling of fatigue combined with a runny nose, scratchy throat and a congested chest. i'm sure i'm a lovely sight to behold.

even so, with all the not so great physical stuff that is happening, i have to recognize that work has been a help to me amidst this time of loss and depression. i am fortunate to be working in a great organization with (by in large) wonderful people doing work that (most of the time) i truly enjoy. i can't say that this type of dynamic of work being a help to me during difficult periods in my life has always been the case. in fact, where my particular work situation was not itself the cause of the depression, it often exacerbated the problem as i dealt with less than desirable circumstances in the work setting.  i can't say for certain that this positive effect will continue to be the case, but for now it is, and for that i am grateful.

but now i head into another weekend and the empty hours loom before me, waiting to be filled with thoughts and concerns and fears. i'm sure my lingering sickness will only contribute to the struggle. it's not often in one's life that you look forward to monday, but right now i think that's the situation i'm in. still, i know from experience, it could be worse.