so i've been experiencing a few stomach issues of late, and i'm not sure if they're stemming from something i've eaten, a side effect of new medication, reaction to life matters or a combination of some or all of the above. as a result, i'm a little behind on commenting on what's been happening in my life.
certainly, one interesting, previously uncommented upon discovery that came up this week was my finding out through facebook that michael, my ex, and his new beau are now registered domestic partners with their city hall. while not as significant as a civil union or marriage, it does declare the seriousness of their relationship. it is the exact same thing that he and i did months after we were first together to show our commitment to one another.
i wish i could say that the discovery has had no effect on me, but that would not be true. a certain amount of sadness has emerged more related to the fact that it reminds me of the lack of companionship and love that i have in my own life. it also makes me feel foolish to have tried for so long to make a relationship with michael work. if he is able to just move on so quickly and easily, i just continue to question what in the world we had in the first place. i should have never looked back when i left in 2008 and the fact that i did and the resulting wasted time of trying to reconcile feels as if it's just ruined my prospects to find a better life.
i don't know. it all still feels so messy, so impossible for the full life i want to actually come to pass. i guess there will be plenty to talk to dr. s about this week.
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