Friday, June 20, 2014

rested but still broken

well, today is the last official day of my two week vacation. it was another day spent on the beach in weather that was even nicer than yesterday. the last two weeks have certainly provided the much needed time to rest and relax but as i was sitting out on the beach i was questioning what was the condition of my heart.

certainly, i feel much better about my friendship with sean. i was so encouraged by my visit with my friend robin this past weekend and i have had an opportunity to interact with a wonderful group of people online. still, i could tell sitting there in the warm california sun that my heart is still in a fragile state and it makes me concerned about the days and weeks ahead. i still lack the confidence that life is going to get better and wonder if i am going to slide into that pit of depression i was in just a little over a week ago.

i so wish i could be better and maybe i'm being too impatient for healing to happen. even so, i'm not sure i can continue with life being in the same state for much longer.

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