Wednesday, September 17, 2014

not believing in much

so the days amble on and with each one there seems to be another little piece of myself that i'm losing. this morning over breakfast i found myself thinking about a comment that i made several weeks ago about september, and in that reflection came the stark realization that what i had believed would indeed not be coming to pass. a slight surge happened in the undercurrent of sadness that has been running deep in my soul. a surge and then the waters subsided to their steady, continuous flow.

as i moved on from breakfast and lumbered into my car to leave for work, i thought about the loss of the belief in that hoped for september and was confronted yet again with the perspective of whether i should continue to believe that there will be any such "septembers" in my future. and as i let go of yet another belief, i then thought, "i guess there's really not much i'm believing in these days."

where do those lost hopes, dreams, and beliefs actually go i wonder? perhaps they are washed away with the surge.

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