the same drill

almost every sunday night of this calendar year it has been the same drill. i settle onto the couch (or into bed), the thoughts of the week's activity ahead begin to filter through my mind. i see an immediate line of long, busy, stressful days, followed by lonely, sadness-filled nights. as i try to raise my gaze higher to see further into the future, hoping to catch a glimpse of something better, all i see is more of the same. and beyond that i just see emptiness. the kind that matches the interior landscape of my heart and soul. i do not see this life of mine as a good thing at the moment and i'm not sure i can take another year of the same.