dream-less

given the vivid and lengthy description of my dream from monday night in yesterday's entry, the title of today's blog segment must seem like an odd choice and i would agree if it were referring to the kind of dreams that take place when we are asleep. instead the dreams of this title refer to our highest goals and aspirations -- those things that we long and hope to achieve someday.

this week i've been attempting to put some long held off chores to bed. as i may have mentioned previously, when undertaking such activities i like to have music playing in the background. yesterday, i heard a song that was about following your dreams and i was brought up short by the realization that when attempting to think of what dreams i may have, nothing came to mind. upon deeper reflection i realized that my inability to come up with a "dream" was actually do the fact that i've lost my belief in the power of dreams.

the various disappointments of recent life, particularly as they seem to be echoes of past hurts, appear to have been the coup de grâce to my capability to hope for more in life or even to trust that there is a better place ahead on my life's journey. it's strange to be in this place when i used to be someone who was filled with nothing but dreams -- dreams of having a meaningful career, dreams of close and lasting friendships, dreams of finding love, and dreams of having a sense of place and belonging in the world. without these dreams i feel beyond lost and empty.

i heard another song today about dreamers. this is the song i share today. it describes various types of dreamers when i first heard this song probably some 20 years or so ago (and it was this version that was my introduction to it), there was a particular "type" referred to in the lyrics that always used to bring a pang of sadness and the thought of, "how sad and unfortunate" to mind. little did i know that i would someday be that very type of dreamer. listen for it. you will know it when you hear it.

dreamers - sarah brightman