and the days are few

i've remarked quite a bit of over the course of this month how wonderful the holiday season is. and now we find ourselves at the point that we can count the days remaining in the month on one hand with fingers left over. even with the extension to epiphany, the season will be over by mid-next week.

invariably, i tend to go through some degree of post-holiday season withdrawal. the more i get into celebrating the season the more difficult it is to come out of it with good mood intact. given that i've been far more into christmas this year than i have been in a few years, i imagine i'm in for a bit of a downturn in my mood. couple that with the now daily thoughts of not knowing what i have to look forward to in the new year, and i imagine some gray clouds are on the horizon. eventually, i will find some equilibrium in my mood, but whether i find enthusiasm is the unknown variable.

i know the recurring theme that evokes the most sadness is this feeling of not being at home in the world. yesterday, i shared my thoughts on what was essentially finding a home in the form of a relationship -- a place where i could feel safe to be myself and loved completely and unconditionally for who i am (and i believe that my desire to do the same for someone is just as strong).

the song i'm posting tonight is actually about finding one's way home in truly every sense of the word. it is sung in the form of a lullaby, which seems to be most fitting to convey the sense of comfort and assurance. i hear the words of trusting that because of god's love for us, we will be led home. still, it's been 50 years, and this side of heaven, it would be nice to experience the home i seek.

christmas lullaby (i will lead you home) - amy grant