just got done with my first phone conversation with my new friend. it did not happen as i imagined it would. it appears that i did something that angered him in online chat, so he immediately vented to me at the beginning of the conversation. i was completely thrown off balance and never recovered.
you see my friend has a somewhat complex history with his father. the comment i made reminded him of something his father would say and as you can gather it was not something he reacted to favorably. the comment was not meant in the way he took it, and he realizes that, but the reaction was still set off. he actually was very apologetic about his reaction, but the funny thing is, his venting set off a strong emotional reaction in me.
suddenly i was back in my house in st. louis, hearing michael having an emotional outburst that was out of proportion to the issue at hand. there was alot of that in my last relationship and it was awful. it doesn't help that with the exception of the southern accent, my friend has the same speech patterns as michael. it was literally like listening to a southern version of my ex.
we talked through alot of this, and i explained that i was so thrown i was going to need a night to just regroup. we're going to talk again tomorrow night. he asked me if this all means that this relationship is not going to work out and we should just give up now. i just reminded him of his own words that we just need to take things a step at a time and see what develops.
i don't know. i'm really concerned about repeating mistakes from my past. with so many issues between us, i'm not sure we can have the kind of healthy relationship that i think we both need. it's a lot to ponder. it doesn't help that i think we both really like each other.
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