Monday, May 23, 2011

rainy days and mondays

and since today qualifies as both, i'm definitely in a blue mood. other than the combination referred to in the title though, i'm not sure quite why i'm feeling down. last night i had a nice, albeit brief, online chat with a new friend that yielded some very encouraging information. i don't know. maybe my mood can be attributed to the fact that i have a week ahead of me here at work filled with what i increasingly perceive as extremely mundane activities. there's not a one for which i can muster even the remotest amount of interest, let alone enthusiasm.

maybe it's that i'm still wrestling with feelings and questions stemming from my break-up with michael, brought freshly to the surface by his email on friday. relationships ending are tough, particularly when in the aftermath you are haunted with questions about your future. will something that begins in promise inevitably end in ruin? can you trust yourself to know what's right for you when you made not one but two mistakes in the past? how do you know if your feelings are genuine or if you're really just suffering from "rebound syndrome"? and on and on.

or maybe it's something as simple as my brain chemistry is a little out of whack and the citalopram just is a little slow in correcting it today.

who was it that said, "the unexamined life isn't worth living"? i guess if that's the case, then i must really be doing some living now.

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marin mazzie - back to before (ragtime) July 4, 1998

ii was reminded of this performance tonight and wanted to share it here as a tribute to a phenomenal talent who left us way too soon.