luther on love

i had planned today's blog entry to be about another topic. you see, while i was taking a much needed hot soak in the tub last night, listening to the blog soundtrack (yes, again), i naturally started pondering my current state of affairs. this time of contemplation eventually led to my reaching an epiphany of sorts (my epiphanies seem to be of the "of sorts" variety) about the central cause of this final break-up with michael. realizing that i had not shared many specifics here on that particular topic i toweled off thinking i had my blog entry for the day.

well, delving into that subect is going to have to wait until tomorrow because later in the evening, after about time ten of listening to "after the love has gone" in a repeating loop," i thought it might be a good idea to listen to something else. so, looking through my ipod album list, i came upon a greatest hits compilation for one mr. luther vandross. now i'm almost positive that i've shared music from luther in previous entries on this blog, and in doing so, i probably shared my oft-repeated comment that i could listen to luther sing the phone book and have a great experience. at about that same time, my new friend (who henceforth i will be referring to as "sr" mainly because it's quicker to type than "my new friend") came on for an online chat.

it was an interesting time. as should have been clear from yesterday's entry, i haven't exactly been in the best place emotionally, specifically regarding the topic of love and relationship. and as those of you who are familiar with the music catalog of mr. vandross are aware, his most popular songs tend to deal with love and relationship. it would therefore be reasonable reaction on your part to question my judgement in picking his "greatest hits" album as my evening's musical accompaniment.

during the course of the chat with sr, it became clear that love and i are in an uneasy dance. i do still recognize the importance it has in all of our lives and the vital role it plays in making our world a better place. i admire those who can make it work in the form of long-term, intimate relationship. i am also still troubled by how it has tended to manifest in my life, and i truly believe that my obsessive fixation on having said long-term, intimate relationship resulted in my going back to a relationship that was not at all right for me not once but twice (resulting in having to break off that relationship not once, not twice, but three f**king times!). as the old joke goes, in my case at least, love is not only sight-impaired but apparently hearing- and speech-impaired as well (actually, this is my pc update of the old joke).

yet, as is also clear from yesterday's blog entry, i am also fearful of it never manifesting again in my life in that form. still, as also previously commented on, the mere passing thought of being in a committed relationship right now makes my blood run cold. talk about your polarity management situation.

so back to luther. it is true that many of his songs are about love, but not always about the exalted, fairy tale fantasy of love. often they are about yearning, pain and complexities brought about by love. and in his voice there is always this longing quality that, based on at least some reports of his personal life, is truly understandable (i think luther may have experienced that same uneasy dance with love).

so here are my favorites of his songs on the subject. i've selected seven. i'm actually only posting five today. the other two fit more appropriately with tomorrow's blog entry, so you'll have to wait until then to get the complete set. so for now, lavish yourself in the musical stylings of the incomparable luther vandross. i hope you'll come by if not tomorrow then in the days ahead to read my next entry -- working title, "what had happened was . . . ."

don't want to be a fool

here and now

any love

there's nothing better than love

so amazing


all by luther vandross