Wednesday, November 20, 2013

the infatuation equation

infatuation. puppy love. crushes. different names for the same experience that i've been pondering over quite a bit of late. one explanation for why that is the case is, for some reason, the end of a relationship causes you to relive the beginning when infatuation ruled the day and everything was fresh and new. and what a time it is -- the utter fascination with anything and everything the object of your desire says and does, the eager anticipation of when you will next get to see that person,  excitement of every new learning of the things you share in common and even the things you don't, the lightness you feel in your heart, in every step, in every breath. it can indeed be a wonderful time.

as we all know, infatuations are not always found in the context of a romantic relationship (in fact it probably occurs more often out of that context than within it). a new co-worker, a celebrity, someone you meet in a chat room or at a cocktail party, even someone you see in line at starbucks or riding on the train can become the object of infatuation. and the feeling can be fleeting or it can linger for days, weeks, months or even longer.

when kept in the proper perspective, infatuations can be really sublime experiences. they are like little stimulants to the heart and are reminders of the joys of attraction and dreaming of what our lives can become. but the line between "proper perspective" and "unrealistic expectations" is often a wavy one, and in a moment, you can easily find yourself on the wrong side of the infatuation equation. that's when some of the darker sides of infatuation emerge -- jealousy, heartache, dissatisfaction with what is in the face of what you wish would be, boiling pet rabbits (just kidding on that last one).

so with this reflection naturally comes some music -- three songs this time. each speaks to a different shade of the infatuation experience and the emotions it elicits.

tomorrow, i will be sharing some additional thoughts i had today regarding my current state post-breakup -- working title "did someone order a paradox?" until then, enjoy the music.

what if - colbie caillat

you're beautiful - james blunt

1000 times - sara bareilles


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