it has been such a full week of activity and decisions that i have to say i'm pretty well spent both physically and mentally this evening. and while i am finding my typical friday decline into sadness less rapid than i've experienced over the last several months, i can tell that a decline is happening nonetheless.
i wonder if the wiser course of action would be to go to sleep now (even though it's just shy of 8 pm) rather than go through the inevitable contemplation of how lonely i am and how incomplete my life feels. a quick swallow of a pill and i can be off to slumber within the next 30-45 minutes.
while i find the idea tempting, it really would just mean waking that much earlier in the day tomorrow and starting on the same thinking process that much sooner with that much longer a duration to be mentally tortured. and that's pretty much been my weekends. waking or sleeping there's not much joy or comfort to be found. hopefully, yours will be a better experience.
marin mazzie - back to before (ragtime) July 4, 1998
ii was reminded of this performance tonight and wanted to share it here as a tribute to a phenomenal talent who left us way too soon.
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