one of the positive aspects of the organization i work for is that it provides various opportunities to reflect on and discuss the deeper meaning and purpose of what we do each and every day. i usually relish taking part in these activities as i find them to be renewing and energizing experiences.
over the last two days i have been one of about 20 participants in one of these type of events and while still a nice experience, it mostly served as a reminder that i am far from being my normal self. as i found myself writing in a message a couple of nights ago, there is something broken in me that isn't healing.
the insights and perspectives that were shared over the course of my work activity were ones that would normally resonate deep within me, providing encouragement and inspiration. this time the words failed to penetrate very far if at all. at one point i likened my engagement in the event to the act of describing what a warm summer day feels like while you are in the depth of winter. you may use the right words to describe what that experience is like, but you're not really able to feel what you're saying.
it's a shame really when the pain of one life experience robs us of enjoyment of others. unfortunately, that's the place i'm in right now. for how long i'll be in this place, who really knows, but if the past couple of days are any indication, it may be for quite some time to come.
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