eastward ho

so it's day five of vacation and time to take the first of my two trips planned. i'm at the airport now, awaiting my french toast that i ordered for breakfast and in about thirty minutes i will be boarding a plane bound for my favorite city in the world -- new york, ny (the city so great they named it twice). not only is it my favorite city but it is also my native soil and so a visit there feels like a visit nowhere else. it is like going on vacation and coming home all at the same time.

while i wish that i could say that i am approaching this trip with unbridled enthusiasm, i have to admit that the feelings are certainly mixed. i awoke this morning with a great heaviness of heart and on the drive here that heavy heart felt as if it were splitting open wider and wider with each mile.

there are certainly things to look forward to on this journey -- a dear and cherished friend to see, interesting people to become better acquainted with, shows, central park, maybe a museum visit. yes there is much to do and experience. and yet, there is still the disappointment of not being able to see another friend that feels as if it will be haunting my every step.

then again, perhaps i'm wrong, and the excitement and the energy of the city will sweep me up and carry me away from my sadness. maybe. still, if that's the case, why do i suddenly feel like crying into my coffee?