Monday, June 9, 2014

not the greatest beginning

well it's day one of my two week vacation and i have to admit i'm not in the place mentally and emotionally that i'd like to be. i feel like my depression is running beneath the surface like a low grade fever and it continues to affect all that i am experiencing.

try as i might i to think differently i'm feeling that my friendship with sean is slipping away and that it's as a result of my failings. and this particular experience in new friendship has made me less than enthusiastic about engaging in any new relationships of any sort. i have concerns about my level of interest and engagement in work and the ability to accomplish all the objectives for which i am accountable. here on the home front, i was hoping to get some major work done on the unpacking front and have no motivation to do much of anything (it doesn't help that i've somehow hurt my lower back as well).

all in all, i'm in this space of questioning whether life is ever going to get better and i seem to have little confidence that i will be able to make it so. i'm hoping i'll be in a different place at the end of these two weeks.

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