an anniversary

it continues to amaze me when certain thoughts come to me. last night i was sitting in the drive through at wendy's, waiting for my baconator combo. i was thinking about how tired i was and that led to me thinking about how difficult this year has been. i'm not sure how it happened, but i suddenly realized that this weekend was the one year anniversary of my break-up with michael. with that thought came the additional realization that while i spent the past year struggling with depression and fighting to stay alive, michael had spent the year building a relationship with someone he met six weeks after we broke up.

as you can imagine, this has not left me in the best of moods for the weekend. it just feels like i've tried my best all my life to be a good and loving person and this is what life feels i deserve? to be alone with a broken spirit? i'll end with a phrase that has ended a few of these entries and more than a few thoughts. i just don't understand.